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| February
22, 2001 |
| by
Perfess'r Harris |
We
at Classics Corner have always asked the wrong
questions. This made us a terrible Catholic.
When we favorably compared Chris-tianity to
Communism in Sister Mary Jane's social studies
class, grave concern was expressed for our
immortal soul. Priests were notified. Conferences
held. Saint Mary's School was not ready for
Perfess'r Harris.
Maybe we never got over it. Still, when recent
revelations from the Human Genome Project
sent us scurrying to Genesis, the first dozen
chapters or so left us more confused than
ever.
For example, we all know about Adam and Eve,
but who were those others east of Eden in
the Land of Nod? What were they like? More
to the point, what did they know and when
did they know it? Did they have their own
Trees of Wisdom, or were they just born wise?
Who made the snake so smart? Was God of two
minds?
What about Adam and Eve's other kids, the
unnamed sons and daughters of Genesis 5:4?
Were they jealous of firstborn Seth? Did they
still love Cain? Did they resent the loss
of Eden? Did they ever stop thinking of the
Tree of Life? Does the Angel with the flaming
sword ever sleep?
Civilization, in all its lovely complexity,
first arises in the sixth generation after
Cain, with Jabal the herdsman, Jubal the musician,
and Tubal-cain the blacksmith. Hardship made
them strong. Work made them whole. God, however,
thinks only of sin. A little omnipotence proves
a dangerous thing.
His great flood ushers in a new age of inbreeding,
alcoholism, incest, and war. Enter Noah, descended
from Seth, who, with his wife, his three sons
Shem, Ham, and Japeth, and their wives, repopulates
planet earth. Who were these women? How did
it feel to sleep with the Last Men on Earth?
Compared to this, Adam and Eve's indiscretion
was very small potatoes. The Original Sin
was God's killing flood, and why not? God
gropes his way through life just like everyone
else, and like us, he makes mistakes.
Soon after the flood, Noah cultivates the
earth, ferments some fruit, and drinks like
a man dying to forget. He passes out naked
in his tent. Noah has seen better days. Ham
finds him and tells Shem and Japeth. They
avert their eyes and cover him with a blanket.
When Noah awakes, he randomly curses Ham's
son Canaan. All of his progeny will live as
slaves to the line of Shem.
This strikes us as a lousy way to renew the
promise of humanity. Not surprisingly, Shem's
family line leads to David, the great warrior
king who kicks ass in the land of milk and
honey. The Promised Land, oddly enough, is
populated by the accursed Canaanites. David
smites them. Blood runs. He has Noah to thank
and God as an accomplice.
Long before David, however, we have perhaps
the most under-reported event in the entire
Old Testament. Shem begets Shelah who begets
Eber who begets Peleg, and in his day, says
Genesis 10:25, "the earth was divided." We'd
like to know more about this. On that day,
our world began.
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