Dear Greg,
Forget about your secret Gestapo tactics of invading homeless campgrounds, machete in hand, ripping to shreds the shelters of the least among us, disposing of their property as if it were of no value, and callously posting notices with phone numbers that were disconnected over a year ago. Forget about hiring poor people to attack other poor people‚s property. Forget about doing those dirty deeds underneath the radar so that one isn’t held to account by the public. Indeed, forget about half-assed tactics that are the logical consequence of bedding down with developers in your dream of making Seattle the Disneyland of the rich and uncaring: stratospheric living for those too important to offer others the gift of human kindness.
Greg, be bold. Gird up your loins, and attack the problem at the source. We all know the game is rigged. The homeless, they will be with us always. No matter how hard we try to eradicate them from our city streets, and push them into neighborhoods, then outward into the suburbs, no matter how hard we try to cleanse the Emerald City of those we‚d rather not acknowledge, in the end, they will always come back, pop up, grow in size and number.
Greg, be bold. It is your destiny to be the bold leader, the man whose steely eyes envision a future of splendor and glory. The man whom others admire, whose ideals create the city on the hill, a shining light welcoming all to the Green City, for those with green to spare.
Greg, be bold. Just go ahead and do it. Be the first to implement the inevitable strategy that cures the problem of homelessness. Sure, those with weak stomachs, wimpy knees, and manly girlishness will squirm. But, in the end, after the first one or two examples, the rabble will fall in line. After the first one or two examples a precedent will be set, a new tradition, a bold new future will be brought into being. Sooner than you think we’ll all get used to it. Your boldness might even propel you to greater glory, like the Governor’s seat, like the Senate maybe, and who knows, maybe even the Presidency.
Greg, be bold. It’s your destiny. Be the first mayor to be bluntly honest, and plainly practical in ending the problem of homelessness.
Forget about these half measured machete attacks. Stand up to the problem, and implement the final solution.
Be bold Greg. Just kill the poor.