Apparently, I've finally gone too far. A few weeks ago, a Seattle Times reporter called to ask if I cared about Tom Douglas' plans to hawk salmon in Victor Steinbrueck Park. I love salmon as much as the next guy. If it's been roasted over a fire and rubbed down with a patented spice mix, so much the better.
Nor can I get too worked up over his plans to use some sort of coastal tribe cultural activity to create a full-on tourist attraction. That's just smart marketing. "If you're going to Hawaii, you have to go to a luau," said Douglas. "If you're going to Seattle, you have to go to a salmon bake at Steinbrueck Park."
"You have to." It's, um, a Seattle tradition. Or will be. Whatever.
My problem is with Douglas' plan to "clean up" the park with extra security. The park is a hangout space for the sort of Indians that tourists seldom bother to photograph. One Seattle news station has already framed the proposal as "Salmon vs. Crime."
This commonly employed phrase, "to clean up," makes my skin crawl. One "cleans up" dirt and vomit. When we're talking about those who are simply unwelcome, another verb is called for. Disgust is a powerful negative emotion that discourages thought. Language that evokes this in regard to those who are homeless and perhaps drug-addicted should be actively shunned.
When I raised concerns about selectively restricted park access, The Seattle Times editorial page took me to task personally, calling me a "rabid" and "disingenuous" defender of the status quo. Several supporters called to ask that I let it drop.
Police already regularly patrol the parks for criminal activity. So do the seven Park Rangers who work the downtown are from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. This $462,000 Park Ranger program dwarfs the $80,000 that Seattle now spends on homeless street outreach. There's something wrong with that picture.
I don't begrudge Tom Douglas his tourism-friendly instant tradition. I don't even especially mind if he hires himself a crime watch detail, so long as actual crime is the target. But don't move people on just because they might bother someone's appetite. It's a park, not a restaurant, and parks, last I heard, are for everyone, the poor and unsightly included.