I want to advocate for better education in our public schools. During the recent heat wave I could keep cool and comfortable because I learned years ago how to move about in downtown Seattle almost entirely indoors. Great trick when raining, too! It's even easier now, with the bus tunnel. They should teach such Architectural Exploitation Technology in schools. Or consider this: You learned in your Civics Class that it was your responsibility to keep abreast of the news. Even though you laughed because the teacher said "a breast," you knew it was right. But how do you keep abreast of so much annoying stupidity without going crazy or being bored? The answer I've learned is, turn the news into a sitcom or movie in your head, and you're suddenly being entertained, just like you were brought up to be! The new Seattle Founder's Festival, for example, inspired a remake of Here Come the Brides. It would be a reversal on the Three's Company premise. Asa Mercer didn't know it, but all the male pioneers in Seattle were gay. Why else would they have come to Seattle, knowing there were no women there?
Recent opposition to the "Mosque at Ground Zero" is a sit-com waiting to happen. This news is stupid on several counts. 1) It's not a mosque. 2) There's already been a mosque in the neighborhood for decades. 3) Muslims were killed in the WTC attacks. 4) Give me a break; we've got a First Amendment. 5) You don't need 5 reasons. Those 4 were enough.
The place is really going to be a community center. It'll be an alcohol-free Muslim Cheers! There will be very amusing sexual tensions between regular characters, and people will come and go all day, ribbing each other and playing practical jokes. Since the center will operate pretty much like a YMCA, there can be a running feud with an actual YMCA uptown. In one episode a challenge between the rival community centers would end with the Islamic center filled with goats.
Another example is provided by news associated with Seattle's own People's Harm Reduction Alliance. They got national attention recently when it was reported that they not only were distributing clean needles, but also safe(r) crack-kits. It led to a spot with Bill O'Reilly and Fox News.com ran a piece on how the crazy liberals in Seattle were running amok. A comment to the Fox News.com story simply said, "That's why I pack whenever I go to Seattle."
Dawn of the Living Liberal Crack-Addict Enablers! So we have a busload of tourists, all but one of which is a wishy-washy liberal. Their idea of packing properly for a trip to Seattle is to bring rain-gear and a change of socks.
Not our hero, played by your favorite tough action ass-kicker. Since I'm old, I picture Bruce Willis, Schwarzenegger, or Clint Eastwood (