I’ve become mesmerized by the spectacle of the long strange train-wreck of these United States. We are undergoing a majestic failure that will surely be the subject of some great books lasting so long, that, if I were still alive by the time they were published, I’d buy them to use as support for my laptop when I use the low table.
All my life I’ve seen us as the Roman Republic near its end. I’ve never quite felt it was fair to say we’ve gone into full fall mode. I’m still not there, but by the first week in November, I may call the tipping point.
This morning brought news that former Speaker of the House John Boehner, the other orange Republican, called Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.” That was followed by an article in which the Satanic Temple responded, in effect, “No, he’s not one of ours.” No word yet on what flesh has to say about it.
Satire and reality have switched places. If this keeps up I’ll have to change the column title to Adventures in Not Always Irony.
How great is the impending national failure? So great it’s inspiring me to return to poetry. Either that or the Paxil I took in 2001 has finally worn off.
That’s right. This is a threat. If Trump is elected president in November, I am going to write unpleasant poems about it, and share them.
A Tiny Taste of Your Future Failure
by © Dr. Wes Browning
I dared to sip the cup before me; I knew I shouldn’t, it wasn’t tea.
Though bitter, it slithered down all right, where once inside I felt a fright.
It returned, all of its own accord with the will of a darker lord —
No, not that lord, no lord of Subterranean torment.
I tasted an orange man. Your failure awaits his
Moment.
Speaking of failures, the Utah Miracle got a bad review this week. I last talked about the Utah Miracle in October 2011, amid excitement that Utah’s policy of moving chronically homeless people directly into housing was ending homelessness. There was then confusion about the difference between ending homelessness as a whole and reducing the number of chronically homeless people.
In 2011, officials claimed only that their program of housing-first had reduced Utah’s chronic homelessness 26 percent over time. No one said all homelessness decreased over the time the program was in effect. Instead, it had increased nearly 10 percent. That was OK, because chronic homelessness? Very bad. Acute homelessness? Eh.
If you’re homeless, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (hud) says you’re chronically homeless if you are an unaccompanied adult with some disability and you’ve either been homeless for a year or homeless three times in the last four years.
hud says you are acute if you aren’t chronic.
The cost of services for chronic homeless people tends to be higher than for acute homeless people. So if acute homeless people want to get some of that Utah Miracle juice, they should figure out how to run up bigger bills.
That was 2011. This is 2016. Utah state housing authorities claimed success on their terms. Chronic homeless, they said, was “functionally zero.”
What’s that? They said it was 91 percent below what it was 10 years ago when they started their own state’s Ten Year Plan to Plan Ending Whatever.
So their definition of functionally zero is 9 pecent. That’s an amazing conceit. It gets better though. It’s false. Apparently, they arrived at that low figure by not bothering to consult with shelters to find out how many of their clients qualified as chronic.
The state claimed the number of chronic homeless had dropped to 178. But one large shelter in Salt Lake City reported this week that they had at least 300 people who fit hud’s definition. As large as that shelter is, it still serves at most only one-sixth of Utah’s homeless population. How many others did the state overlook in its rush to declare victory?
Meanwhile, the total number of Utah’s homeless population is just about what it was 10 years ago. What percentage of those will slip from acute to chronic homelessness in 12 months?
I have to give them credit. They aren’t failing as much as everyone else. But they aren’t succeeding, either.