Apologies in advance: This column is going to be as disjointed this week as the world we live in.
This is not a fake headline: “It is now illegal in Russia to share an image of Putin as a gay clown.” I don’t care how low your esteem for The Washington Post is, you have to know they aren’t going to make up something like that.
It appears that no one really knows which image of Putin as a gay clown is illegal, so people all over Russia are sharing images of Putin as a gay clown and asking one another, “Is it this one?” “No? How about this one?” “We must get to the bottom of this.” “Surely, we will find Trump there.” “That’s what he said.” Russian humor is the world’s best.
Trump is not emulating Putin enough. Why aren’t there laws against sharing pictures of Trump as a gay clown? Do we have to start sharing pictures of Trump as a gay clown to get that kind of consideration? What we are experiencing here is a dictator gap.
A promising effort was made by the administration to force Twitter to reveal information that could lead to the identification of a Twitter user who has criticized the administration. The Department of Homeland Security tried to root out and expose a Twitter user without any evidence that homeland security is involved. It’s nothing more than an old-fashioned crackdown on dissent. It’s a baby step, but I’m sure Putin would be proud — except the administration dropped the ball when Twitter decided to sue.
It really makes my heart flutter when I contemplate that one of our fundamental civil rights could have depended on the outcome of a lawsuit by Twitter.
Speaking of heart flutters, and getting to the disjoint, a Washington legislator, Ed Orcutt, R-20th District, has proposed a law requiring Seattle to pay for cost overruns of the viaduct replacement tunnel. This matters more, now that Bertha has broken through.
Back when Bertha was stuck under Alaska Street, I remarked several times that the best thing for Seattle would be if Bertha remained stuck forever. That was because the stupid law enabling the tunnel to be built could not be used to make us pay for cost overruns if the project never finished. Whereas, if it does finish, the stupid law as written appears to say precisely we have to pay.
The fact that the stupid law enabling the tunnel to be built was indeed a stupid crock, and the fact that the specific provision in the law holding Seattle property owners financially responsible for cost overruns is in particular legal nonsense and always has been, doesn’t change the reality that there are Washington legislators like Ed Orcutt, and they will do their best to try and exploit that provision, wasting everyone’s time and money except for an army of lawyers on both sides. Orcutt’s proposal may not go anywhere now, but wait and watch as the tunnel gets nearer to being finished, and all the costs are totaled.
Let’s face it. Seattle is no one’s darling cuddle bunny.
Trump hates us because we defy his anti-immigration orders. He wants to deny federal funding until we bow down and lick his boots. He will teach us a lesson by taking money away.
Eastern Washington hates us because they think we suck all the taxes out of the state. We don’t, but it’s hard to convince them of that when there is no giant tunnel being built in Cowlitz County. They would teach us a lesson by taking money away.
We are definitely not Ann Coulter’s cuddle bunny. She came right out and said that when North Korea can target any city worth saving, we should care about their nuclear strike capability. We, she said, are not that city.
At least Ed Orcutt and friends don’t want us nuked out of existence. It wouldn’t do to vaporize us, then we couldn’t pay them what they think we owe them.
This place has too many conservative-hating, latte-drinking, grass-fed-goat-loving, electric-car-driving, smart-phone-using-because-they-think-they’re-so-smart, book-reading, uptight, moralizing twits. And I’m not even being ironic when I say that, but if I was, wouldn’t that be just typical?
Read more Adventures in Irony columns here.