It’s the morning of the fourth day of a cold and my head feels like it’s been hollowed out and stuffed with a wet rag.
I’ve been taking a lot of aspirin lately. I may be the only person in the world to regard aspirin as a recreational drug. It mellows me and enhances my dreams. They should market it better. I’m high on aspirin right now.
Talking about dreams reminds me of reality, and my relationship to it. I usually think of reality as OK. I’m not married to it, but I’m not opposed to it, either. If, and when, the walls melt and Oswald the Rabbit bursts through, changes color repeatedly, plays a harmonica and dances the Macarena, all at the same time, I can live with that. I draw the line only when I have to be the rabbit. That’s too much.
This has a lot to do with how I get by. I’m not judging everything all the time. I’m not saying to myself “this can’t be happening,” or “what in tarnation is going on here?” I’m just here to breathe in and out. I don’t have an agenda. “Tarnation” is not in my vocabulary.
So, let’s see: So far the intended recipients of pipe bombs from apparently one source in Florida have included George Soros, Hillary/Bill, Obama, John Brennan (care of CNN), Eric Holder/Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Maxine Waters (twice), Robert De Niro, Biden (twice), and as of this writing Cory Booker. Eleven all together, in four days. Somebody’s been a busy beaver!
It’s very difficult to find anything remotely resembling levity in this situation. The fact that no one has been injured as of this writing is amazing, and I don’t expect that to continue to be the case. I am sure there will be victims eventually, if not by this bomber, then by the next one imitating this one.
Not everyone in the world has mail screeners.
The reality of what is going on is dismal. Who can show us the way to the unreality of it? How about the Lunatic in Chief?
We should follow the example set by our president. We don’t know the person or persons doing this, so we shouldn’t judge. They might be good people for all we know.
It’s been a little hard to understand how Trump could be so uncritical of Klan members and neo-Nazis, dictators and former KGB directors, but so prejudiced toward almost everyone else, but, hey, aren’t we all a little hypocritical now and then? We should cut him some slack.
The most unreal part of all this is the rising chorus from the right-wing in this country, starting with the professional useless lump Rush Limbaugh, declaring that the pipe bomb mailings are self-inflicted.
That Democrats are mailing pipe bombs to themselves to win votes in the midterms.
I will now explain why the likelihood of that is a big fat zero, much like Limbaugh himself.
The problem with that hypothesis is that crimes of this nature inspire more crimes of this nature. In fact, down the road many on both sides of the national divide may justly end up calling this the start of a real war. A flash point may have been reached. Really, the Democrats are not about to encourage people to send them pipe bombs. Archdukes don’t assassinate their own.
So, what now, everybody? We all send pipe bombs to each other? That’s what I’m really afraid of. Pipe bombs are going to be as common as bad memes on Facebook.
Fill in the gaps in this conspiracy theory. The pipe-bomb sender hates Debbie Wasserman Schultz the most. Show how that proves he or she is working for Bernie Sanders.
Now that you’ve had practice spinning fantasy, prove that the bombs were sent by members of the Central American caravan on their way to the U.S. border with Mexico. According to the president, most of them are very, very bad people, so they must mail bombs continually. They are “murderers and rapists,” too, he said.
Although one or two of them might be good people, we can’t know for sure.
For extra credit explain this: If getting pipe bombs mailed to you is such a good way to get your side to win more votes in the midterms, then why aren’t the Republicans mailing pipe bombs to themselves?
Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd.
Check out the full Oct. 31 - Nov. 6 issue.
Real Change is a non-profit organization advocating for economic, social and racial justice. Since 1994 our award-winning weekly newspaper has provided an immediate employment opportunity for people who are homeless and low income. Learn more about Real Change.