Last week I wrote some words that may be construed as supporting the right of women to choose abortions. Just as the column was going to press I read a news story about Rep. Matt Shea of Washington’s 4th Legislative District, which said he had released a “Biblical Manifesto,” calling for death to all men who support abortion rights. Why didn’t anyone out there notify me that my life is in danger?
I’ve paged through Matt Shea’s manifesto and there are some really great ideas in it. It describes, in 14 detailed points, how Biblical War ought to be conducted. In particular, I cannot disagree with point 10(f): “Do not attack or kill productive citizens. They are your base of support after your enemy is defeated.” Yes! Absolutely do not do those things. I’m down with that!
Claiming that Shea calls for death to all men who support abortion is just plain hyperbole. What he really says is that such people should first be given an opportunity to surrender in five ways, “on terms of justice and righteousness.” Do these things: stop all abortions, end same-sex marriages, end idolatry and occultism, stop communism and obey Biblical law. Do all that and you get to live. It’s only the males who will be killed. God willing.
Notice that women who don’t surrender get a pass. I’m sure some commie idolater is going to read that and think, “aha, what a hypocrite.” But if Rep. Shea is fine with letting productive people live, who is more (re)productive than women who bear children?
Besides, once men who support abortions are done away with, abortions couldn’t possibly happen, because women can’t do medical procedures by themselves.
Doctoring is too hard.
Everything is thought of in this war plan.
Reading over the manifesto, I am amazed at how well-written and thoroughly consistent it is, and I can only assume that the imperfect hand of God was guiding the perfect hand of Rep. Shea throughout its creation.
In fact, it was so eloquent that I missed the point, and forced myself to watch a video of the representative explaining it.
Mr. Shea makes it very clear that the document is not really a call to war, but an account of the The Bible’s theory of what makes a “just war.”
And he does not think that it would be right for a war of the sort outlined to be launched right now.
He acknowledges the good of the Constitution of the United States, and the importance of a congressional declaration of war.
He hints that he wishes he were a U.S. representative, rather than a lowly state legislator. He says a “just war” has to be for a cause important enough to justify the deaths that result from it.
Hence the need to base a declaration of war on important matters; like ending reproductive freedom as we know it. We shouldn’t declare war against people unless they refuse to give up idolatry and occultism, because we don’t want any blood baths just for the sake of blood baths.
So, understanding all that, I’m sure I can trust him not to kill all uncooperative males any time soon.
Questions for the very afraid to take to bed:
Rep. Matt Shea was re-elected to the state Legislature Nov. 6, with more than 58 percent of the vote in his district. The question is, knowing that, how will you sleep going forward? What’s a good tranquilizer for this?
At what point does someone’s personal practice of idolatry or occultism so injure others that it is permissible to kill them? I’m not saying it never happens. I’m just asking where the warrior priest, as Shea would call them, would draw the line. It seems important to get clarification on that.
It seems to me that I should be free to stick the pins in the doll in the privacy of my own home, until it is proved to be effective.
Is my logic wrong?
One of the points of the manifesto being discussed here is that people are to be exempted from serving as combatants in the just war on various grounds, and one of those grounds is being scared.
Can I get an Amen?
Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd.
Check out the full Nov. 21 - 27 issue.
Real Change is a non-profit organization advocating for economic, social and racial justice. Since 1994 our award-winning weekly newspaper has provided an immediate employment opportunity for people who are homeless and low income. Learn more about Real Change.