Because I write these things, I often jot down thoughts I have, thinking I might use them later. Here’s one I found that I wrote a couple of months ago. I have no clue what I was reacting to:
“Some people invite karma. They beg for life’s hard lessons. Who am I to interfere? I should say to each one, ‘You do you, and good luck with that. I don’t want to harsh your trip.’” That does not make sense — of course I want to harsh their trip. I want what they want.
As I write this, it’s Friday morning, in your past. I woke to the news that Donald and Melania Trump tested positive for COVID-19. Trump tweeted that they’ll begin quarantine immediately. It’s likely they came down with the virus from frequent contact sans masks with senior advisor Hope Hicks, who travels with the Trump campaign entourage. Everybody who regularly travels with the campaign should presumably now quarantine, because of the close exposure and the lack of protection.
So far, Trump and Biden haven’t had a debate, because last Tuesday’s debate became a nature show as one of the participants ably demonstrated how apes display dominance when encountering other primates. There is another debate between them scheduled for 13 days from today, just one day short of the end of the recommended quarantine period. Will it happen, or will Mike Pence have to sub for Trump? If so, that might mean there’d be a debate after all, unless Pence repeats Trump’s tactics.
If Trump does debate Biden 13 days from now, I don’t see how he can top his performance last Tuesday, short of flinging his feces across the stage at Joe.
Just last night, I came to the sudden realization that Donald Trump has to be comic strip character Dennis the Menace:
They’ve never been seen together in the same place. They have the same hair. They’re the exact same age: Both were 5 and a half in 1951. Both are still 5 and a half. The odds of two people out of 8 billion both being perennially 5 and a half is even less than the odds that one of them is a comic strip character. What am I saying? They’re both comic strip characters. Case closed.
For those of you not old enough to remember when Dennis the Menace was popular, what is strange about the character is that in spite of being called “the Menace,” and despite him being a pain and always having a chip on his shoulder, he was a beloved character. I could never understand that. There was even evidence of maliciousness. The kid carried a sling-shot around in his back pocket. There’s your menace.
Trump was menacing last Tuesday, and his fans loved him for it. No matter what he does, he can’t embarrass his supporters.
The danger now that Trump has tested positive for COVID-19 is that, in spite of having brought it on himself by refusing to take precautions during his campaign travels, he’ll evoke sympathy. The poor president — who did nothing for two months to alert the American public to the dangers of the new coronavirus and has since spent most of his time blaming the virus on China — now has it. Poor fellow. It goes to show: Life isn’t fair.
After what Trump said concerning the Proud Boys during the non-debate, people in other states would do well to be jittery. The background behind the “stand by” advice for them is that Trump has called for an army of up to 50,000 poll watchers to monitor voting locations around the country. Thank goodness we mostly vote by mail here in Washington state or we could have maskless Proud Boys breathing down our necks as we blacken ovals with our pens, to make sure we don’t fraudulently vote for some cheating non-Trump.
Trump telling them, when asked to denounce white supremacy, to “stand by” was code for them to join the poll monitors, and was code to his supporters in general to be ready to act on his behalf in the event the electoral college doesn’t give him a win this time.
That was the one and only clear message that came out of Donald Trump in the whole ape-show, aside from put-downs directed at Biden and debate moderator Chris Wallace.
I’m dreading Nov. 3.
Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd. He can be reached at drwes (at) realchangenews (dot) org
Read more in the Oct. 7-13, 2020 issue.