I belong to at least one too many philosophy groups on Facebook. The study of philosophy is a bad idea even when done right, but when you do it by reading what Facebook users have to say about it, you can permanently break your brain.
A guy wanted to know how the French philosopher Descartes might have proven that elves exist. My first thought was that elves don’t exist, therefore I must think that I don’t think that elves think. Rather than say that, I thought I could just cut to the chase, as they say, and merely admit that I overthink, therefore I over-exist. Surely that much is true.
Recently, I’ve been overthinking Elon Musk’s proposed buyout of Twitter. I’m beginning to think it’s not going to happen. But, as someone should have said to Descartes, “What do you know, Wes?”
A lot of liberals are saying now they won’t buy Teslas if Musk owns Twitter.
I so wish I could afford to performatively not buy a Tesla, but they’re outside of my price range.
Have you ever noticed that you can’t vote with your wallet if your wallet is empty? Well. Musk may be noticing that, because right after it was announced he had the Twitter board’s OK to buy Twitter, both Tesla and Twitter shares dropped. The latter drop is concerning for the sale, because it suggests the shareholders might not finalize it.
I hardly ever tweet anymore, so what happens to Twitter doesn’t concern me, personally. The last time I used Twitter was to check to see how the Capitol Hill Organized Protest, aka CHOP, was going. I just look at the tweets — I don’t make them. I leave the manufacturing of tweets to the tweet-obsessed.
It’s like how I watch TV. I sometimes watch a weatherman on TV. I don’t feel any compulsion to tell everyone out in TV land that the sky looks clear out my living room window.
Speaking of obsession, I am wondering why anyone would want to own Twitter. One thought I have is that it goes back to that over-existing idea above. Some people may feel that they aren’t existing enough living their ordinary life. So they think, “Hey, if I owned a chain of newspapers, or NBC, or Twitter, then I’d really exist. I’d be hyper-existent.”
Another reason it’s beginning to look like Musk won’t complete his purchase of Twitter is that he’s started to say some weird business about authenticating humans on the social media site. No one, as yet, knows what he means by that. The main guess is he’ll require ID to be a user and make people use their verified, legal names on their accounts. This represents madness. How could my cat continue to have an account if that happens?
What about my muse, the Muse of Other, of surpassing beauty and of indeterminate hair color and body type? She can’t even prove state residence because she lies and puts some real woman’s address on all her legal documents. Cindy Holly? Being immortal, she has no birth certificate and can’t get a state ID. The only reason she has a Facebook account is that she’s been using a fake name there. Musk doesn’t own Facebook, yet.
My wife on the other hand, Anitra “Don’t Compost the Hedgehog” Freeman, frequently has ID, except when she doesn’t. She shares an actual address with me and can usually prove it. Except that, for the past two weeks, she’s been volunteering with SHARE (Seattle Housing And Resource Effort) to set up a new SHARE resident self-managed homeless shelter in the North End. I have only had her sharing my address for a few hours a day all this time. Thanks a lot, SHARE. Have I told you how much I love your organizations lately, SHARE? First, let me heal.
Of course Anitra brings it all on herself by all that volunteering. Anitra is so liberal (how liberal is she, Wes?) that she would never buy a Tesla. She wants to protect hedgehogs endangered by premature composting. She drinks 100 percent organic coffee. I buy it, she drinks it.
A loose end. I don’t know what to do with this ragged, tattered loose end. Russia is lately saying that Ukraine and the West are forcing Russia to the brink of using nukes in Ukraine. “Stop hitting yourself!” says Russia, “or we will have to hit you back!”
Read more of the May 4-10, 2022 issue.