A man in Thailand reported on the respected news network TikTok that he’d won $59 playing a lottery using numbers provided by ChatGPT.
He later said that he’d been doing this a while, using ChatGPT to generate lottery numbers and trying them, and this was just the first time it worked. But he seemed sure that he’d honed the system now. In other words, his experience playing the lottery with the help of ChatGPT was exactly the same experience as everyone has playing the lottery without ChatGPT: You try a lot, and you finally win a little.
What’s especially interesting is that ChatGPT warned him that playing the lottery was all about luck. It told him he should give up his obsession with it and go out and get some exercise.
Speaking of winning the lottery, I felt like a winner the day I found out Fox News fired Tucker Carlson. Then I learned Don Lemon was fired at CNN, and it seemed like it was raining fired cable news commentators.
I know not to get my hopes up that Fox News is going to improve as a result of firing Tucker Carlson. The evidence is he wasn’t fired for what he said on screen, but because of off-screen text messages turned up by Dominion that revealed the extent of his on-screen lying. In essence, he was fired for blowing Fox News’ cover. What will happen next, I suppose, is they’ll hire a replacement and make sure the new guy doesn’t blab secrets by text message.
I never watched Carlson’s show. I avoid paying attention to news commentators and opinion writers, because filtered news is hard to use here. I prefer my news with sediment. It’s more nutritious. But now that he’s out, I’ve read some of his stuff, and all I can say is “wow.”
I learned, for instance, he’s been pushing a theory that environmental activists are trying to get Americans to switch their diets from red meat to insects.
OK, I admit I’ve experimented with cricket flour, but not as part of an activist movement. I’ve also eaten boiled octopus and those tiny little dried fish that come in bags. I still eat beef. I’m not out hugging trees, at least no more than I’m hugging octopi. (Note, it should be octopodes, rhymes with antipodes, but I never get traction on this, so I’ve given up. But I’m right and the rest of you are all wrong. Also it’s ee-ther not eye-ther.)
There’s also an alleged conspiracy afoot to replace American beer like good old Bud Light with Asian beers that aren’t marketed by trans models. Because Kid Rock would rather drink Tsing Tao than a beer that’s touched Dylan Mulvaney’s lips. I’d rather drink Tsing Tao, too, but for entirely different reasons. American beer is like horse urine: It doesn’t matter if you drink it warm or cold.
When Tucker Carlson was starting out and still had the silly red bow tie — which I always assumed was a clip-on, because he couldn’t possibly dress himself — he seemed like a William F. Buckley protégé. What the heck happened? I can only guess he saw the Buckley/James Baldwin debate on YouTube and decided he wanted to work solo henceforth. Why he ditched the bow tie, I have no guess at all. It was such a great trademark. It would be as if Lucille Ball had started dyeing her hair blonde. Not that there’s anything wrong with being blonde.
In other news, King Charles III will be crowned on April 29. It’s about time. I’ve been expecting this my whole life. Would you believe he is not quite eight months older than I am? Yes. And the parallels in our lives are amazing. Him: Born of a woman who became queen of the United Kingdom and Commonwealth countries around the world. Me: Born of a woman. Him: Made Prince of Wales when nine or 10 years old. Me: Heard Little Richard when nine or 10 years old. Him: Studied Welsh in college. Me: Studied in college. Naturally, because of the parallels, I have followed his career closely, even to the point of learning what “career” means. I think I also have “curriculum vitae” down, too.
I vaguely remember having to wear a clip-on bow tie for my stupid high school annual picture.
Tobias Coughlin-Bogue is the associate editor at Real Change.
Read more of the May 3-9, 2023 issue.