If you’re reading this on Wednesday, June 21, 2023, you should know that the summer solstice happened a couple of minutes before 8 a.m. PST.
Our editor, Ashley Archibald, in league with the rest of the editorial department, decided to commemorate the occasion of this solstice by making this issue a happy, happy, joy, joy, sunshine issue. There was some discussion about how the old grump could pull off a happy, happy, joy, joy, sunshine-y column.
I’ll roll with it and see where I get.
The first news I saw about the coming summer in our vicinity was a Seattle Weekly article with the cheery title “Washington at ‘epicenter’ of wildfire threat.” It has the subheading, “Federal fire forecast shows Western Washington has one of the most dire outlooks in the U.S.” And you were thinking the East Coast has had it bad the last week or two.
Now, I know that’s practically the exact opposite of sunshine-y news, but there has to be a silver lining, right? Even smoke clouds have silver linings, right? Let’s think this through.
I know. It’s going to be one of those things that feel great when they stop. I remember that time a couple or three summers ago when we couldn’t see the sun for weeks and could barely breathe, but when the smoke lifted we all felt like newborn babies. Those were good times. That’s what we’ll have to look forward to.
OK, I admit: That wasn’t very happy. But! The Guardian has a story I just found that looks promising: “‘Lunch of suffering’: plain ‘white people food’ goes viral in China.” Chinese bloggers are having fun with the idea that eating bland, non-spicy white people food is a good way to inflict self-pain and experience what it’s like to be dead.
Since they’re having fun, we can only describe this as happy news.
One TikTok user describes “white people food” as having three features. First, it has no spices (“zero feeling to your food”) because it does not prioritize enjoyment. Second, it involves as little preparation as possible: “Eat it raw, eat it as a whole piece.” And third, it’s eaten at work or school.
“[W]hen you get off work, you go back to eat your normal food and you feel the life back.” (I think that last bit was just the TikTok user trying to take the dread out of it. They don’t want to believe that the lunch of suffering continues at white people’s homes.)
Another blogger bought string beans and a tomato to see what it was like to eat them raw and said, “It’s so lawless and outrageous.”
There’s no mention of my favorites, like cold ravioli eaten straight out of the can. Or an open-face peanut butter sandwich. Or heck, just peanut butter spooned out of the jar. Or a bowl of cornmeal mush. Buttered toast.
I don’t know if this is happy, sunshine-y news or not, but I just don’t want to let it pass by without commenting. By 2025, Seattle will get a new area code because the 206 numbers are running out. The new code will be 564. My concern is I’d be forced to accept an upgrade of my phone number from the 206 number to a 564 number. I want to keep the number I already have, but I don’t trust the phone Mafia to leave my number alone.
The happiest news this week is that the striking UW researchers and postdoc workers have been given a nice pay raise and ended their strike with success. Now they can afford more food for their spouses and children. Maybe even spicy, life-affirming food that prioritizes enjoyment.
Finally, I’d like to share a cheerful answer I wrote recently to a question on Quora, the Q & A website. The question was, “What is the interpretation of dreaming about flowers? What is the significance of each type of flower in a dream?”
My answer was, “Wow. Wowee, wowee, wow, wow, wow. You have opened my eyes to the fact that I have never in my entire life of 73 years dreamt about one single damnable flower. What has been wrong with me? Don’t I know, deep in my heart, the metaphorical significance of flowers? I guess not.”
I have also never dreamt about Chinese food, but that may change soon.
Dr. Wes is the Real Change Circulation Specialist, but, in addition to his skills with a spreadsheet, he writes this weekly column about whatever recent going-ons caught his attention. Dr. Wes has contributed to the paper since 1994. Curious about his process or have a response to one of his columns? Connect with him at [email protected].
Read more of the June 21-27, 2023 issue.