Having memories, even bad memories, beats the alternative

Jobs, Journalism, Justice

Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd. He can be reached at drwes@realchangenews.org.

Articles by Dr. Wes Browning

Look up Cribbage scoring on Wikipedia — I won’t try to explain it

By Dr. Wes Browning | September 15, 2021

President Joe Biden is out to get everyone in the country vaccinated for COVID-19.

I’m old, so I’ve been fully vaccinated since February. Still, I’m getting a short vacation from work thanks to COVID-19. At most two weeks.

I hear you all saying, in unison, “You? Work? You toil away at a job?” ...

I’ve never asked for more than one baking potato per column

By Dr. Wes Browning | September 8, 2021

The new Texas anti-abortion law is one of the most far-fetched laws I’ve ever heard about. I can’t understand how the U.S. Supreme Court could let this happen. It’s unbelievably unjust.

The idea of the law: Encourage private citizens to bring multiple lawsuits to hamper abortions, tying people up in courts. This is a cynical and corrupt abuse of the legal system. No law should be written like this, and to let this one go into effect only ensures other states will copy the idea, and the whole country will be tangled up in senseless litigation. ...

Is your car as smart as the Lone Ranger’s horse?

By Dr. Wes Browning | September 1, 2021

Basically, the Supreme Court just said it’s not up to the CDC to declare an eviction moratorium, even though it’s essential during the pandemic. It’s Congress’ job. I don’t see this going anywhere. The unsigned opinion of the court called out Congress for its inaction on extending the moratorium.

If we did everything this way, fire departments couldn’t put fires out until legislators passed enabling acts to fight each specific fire. ...

Rain in Greenland and other incomprehensibles

By Dr. Wes Browning | August 25, 2021

I check out Arctic weather frequently. The Danish Meteorological Society has a website devoted to Arctic weather, and I watch the average temperatures rise and fall. Most of the year, the graph that emerges is jagged with steep climbs and drops, but there’s a reassuring patch with a gentle predictable curve during summer. ...

Good thing they stopped asking: I was running out of religions

By Dr. Wes Browning | August 18, 2021

The 2020 U.S. census results are finally being released after months of delay, and the question I hear everyone asking is, “Where’d all the white people go?”

Cities are filling up with more and more people, but as white people leave the rural areas for the big cities, the numbers shift, accounting for fewer white people and more people who marked their race as “other” or mixed. ...

Maybe DeSantis would be sensible if he got free pizza

By Dr. Wes Browning | August 11, 2021

For hours of mindless fun, google “Florida man meme.”

Some great examples: “Florida man caught on security camera licking doorknob for hours,” “Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT team promises him pizza” and “Florida man on drugs kills imaginary friend and turns himself in.”

I think most of these are made up by and for people who just can’t get enough of Florida man. “Florida man dies in an explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave” is just a bit overboard. ...

What if it had been a green umbrella? What would we be talking about then?

By Dr. Wes Browning | August 4, 2021

I got distracted this time. I wanted to talk about news stories such as “out-of-control zombie sea urchins are destroying kelp forests in our oceans” and “someone in Canada found 890 million year old fossil sponges.”

You can’t go wrong talking about zombies. Zombies never get old. ...

It’s hard to resist a good long list

By Dr. Wes Browning | July 28, 2021

As if California doesn’t have enough problems with drought and wildfires, now CNN is telling us people are stealing massive quantities of public water to grow marijuana plants. Authorities estimate 12 billion gallons have been stolen during this drought. Among other things, the thieves are stealing water from fire hydrants at night, forcing communities to padlock their hydrants or remove them altogether. ...

I like to consider myself something of a space-time cadet

By Dr. Wes Browning | July 21, 2021

I was giddy with glee the other day when billionaire Richard Branson kept his promise and flew in his Buck Rogers space plane near the edge of outer space to beat Jeff Bezos to it. He did flinch a little and didn’t get to the official 100-kilometer mark. But he got to 85 kilometers, which isn’t too shabby. I think he’s entitled to call himself a genuine junior space cadet. ...