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Dr. Wes Browning is a one time math professor who has experienced homelessness several times. He supplied the art for the first cover of Real Change in November of 1994 and has been involved with the organization ever since. This is his weekly column, Adventures in Irony, a dry verbal romp of the absurd. He can be reached at drwes@realchangenews.org.

Articles by Dr. Wes Browning

Masks mean we dance with other parts of our faces. Can you dance to executive orders if they come fast enough?

By Dr. Wes Browning | January 27, 2021

This column didn’t start out well. I wanted to talk about things I hadn’t got around to in previous weeks because of our last president. I dug up my notes to myself from previous weeks to see what I was thinking. The first note I came across was “Need butter, garlic, some random meat, bread, TP and paper towels. Grapes?”

The next note I found was “They take a back seat in the ’39 Studebaker of their consciousness.” They who? I’ll never remember! Who’s driving? Is this all a metaphor I don’t want to understand? If so, why did I write it? ...

Are fascists going downhill in more ways than one?

By Dr. Wes Browning | January 20, 2021

All of a sudden after more than five years of seeing tweet after tweet from at realdonaldtrump all night long while he devours cheeseburgers and fries in bed, now Twitter bans him. Now as he’s on his way out. And then Facebook bans him. Gee thanks, guys, for saving the country from all that.

Politico reported this morning (it’s last Friday to you) that Joe Biden’s inauguration was being postponed. I was stunned. Then I read the article and found out that the rehearsal was being postponed. The rehearsal — not the inauguration itself. Politico yanked my chain. ...

How many emperors invited barbarians to sack Rome?

By Dr. Wes Browning | January 13, 2021

In the waning days of his presidency, Trump is resembling evil genius Sideshow Bob, stepping on rakes. Or, Wile E. Coyote running into walls painted to look like tunnel entrances.

Betsy DeVos resigned as secretary of education because Trump’s handling of the Capitol Hill riot has set a bad example for America’s children. But she had no problem with the Access Hollywood tape?

She followed many other administration officials who resigned the day before, including Elaine Chao, the transportation secretary and wife of Sen. Mitch McConnell. ...

You never know what you’ll find out when you get an adult talking

By Dr. Wes Browning | January 6, 2021

It’s New Year’s Eve as I write this. I was thinking I’d list some New Year’s resolutions, but midnight is still hours away. So, for now, I’m more in the mood to look back. Way back.

One of the aspects of my life that has given me the most satisfaction has been the fact that I’ve been able to carry on reasonably amiable conversations with a huge range of people from all walks of life. The range is so huge that when I share this fact in detail, a lot of people get horrified. ...

Trump’s Space Force beware. Cthulhu hates Renaissance architecture

By Dr. Wes Browning | December 30, 2020

We got the tunnel replacement for the viaduct because West Seattle and Ballard wanted to drive back and forth between each other. Now West Seattle wants aerial cable cars to get to and from the International District. Since I live in the International District, I’m naturally concerned. Where will all the West Seattleites go when they debark? Please let it not be any of my favorite restaurants. I’m looking at wait times for tables when the pandemic settles down. ...

If you’re going to bet on outcomes that really matter to you, learn the concept “hedge”

By Dr. Wes Browning | December 23, 2020

I didn’t think I’d be able to say this by now, with the pandemic and the ongoing post-election drama, but I’m starting to feel safe enough: Merry Christmas, and goodbye Bill Barr. ...

Why do we even have mayors, anyway? We don’t want them to do nothing and we don’t want them to do what they do

By Dr. Wes Browning | December 16, 2020

Back at the end of September, I predicted that if the outcome of the election was such that the Supreme Court was called on to weigh in, they wouldn’t intervene. They’d leave it to the states. I implied there might be two justices who’d back a coup for Trump, but the other seven had no interest in such things. Well, then Amy Coney Barrett got on the court, so maybe three justices would do something crazy. But in the first draft of this column last week, I correctly guessed that the court would shut down the Texas lawsuit. ...

No ‘Welcome Back, Kotter,’ either

By Dr. Wes Browning | December 9, 2020

We want our second stimulus check. Now former Democratic U.S. congressperson and early 2020 presidential candidate John Delaney has an idea to get us all $1,500 in stimulus money, provided we get one of the new COVID-19 vaccines. He thinks Congress might approve stimulus checks sooner if it gets people vaccinated sooner. ...

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark...

By Dr. Wes Browning | December 2, 2020

As soon as I saw the headline “Thousands of mink culled over COVID fears rise from a mass grave in Denmark,” I thought it stands to reason 2020 would end with a Zombie Mink Apocalypse. How could this awful year get any worse? Zombie minks. ...