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Dr. Wes is the Real Change Circulation Specialist, but, in addition to his skills with a spreadsheet, he writes this weekly column about whatever recent going-ons caught his attention. Dr. Wes has contributed to the paper since 1994. Curious about his process or have a response to one of his columns? Connect with him at [email protected].

Articles by Dr. Wes Browning

‘You may now discuss your juror experience or research this case as you wish.’ — the bailiff

By Dr. Wes Browning | November 29, 2023

Adventures in Irony

A week ago, I was summoned to jury duty. It was the third time in about 14 years. The first time, I served on a jury that assessed damages in a civil suit about a car accident. The second time, I wasn’t assigned a case because all the pending cases were settled out of court. This time, I was assigned online to a criminal case where I had to join a Zoom interview by the case lawyers on both sides with about 20 other prospective jurors. ...

‘Sit your butts down!’ — Bernie Sanders

By Dr. Wes Browning | November 22, 2023

Adventures in Irony

My favorite line of all time is Mercutio’s line in Act 3 Scene 1 in Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” in which he says, “Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man.”

My second favorite is Robert Palmer’s line, “She’s so fine, ain’t no telling where the money went.”

I now have a third new favorite: “Stand your butt up,” as said by GOP Sen. Markwayne Mullin to a Teamsters leader, calling for a fistfight. It has narrowly passed, “I am the egg man / They are the egg men / I am the walrus / Goo goo g’joob.” ...

The hierarchy of people, pigeon’s poop and Benedictus passage

By Dr. Wes Browning | November 16, 2023

If cats have hundreds of different ways of frowning, surely pigeons have hundreds of different ways of pooping

CNN had a story about how a Dubai-based architect is designing small shelters that humans could share with pigeons.

It’s not like a shelter where homeless people might be expected to sleep. It’s more like a shelter from the sun — a place where two or three people can get some shade and hang out. The pigeons are supposed to enter through holes above the human shelter and hang out with each other and grace the upper portion of the shelter with their feces, which could be periodically harvested for fertilizer. I love this idea. ...

Do we know that Elon Musk isn’t already a chatbot?

By Dr. Wes Browning | November 8, 2023

Jeff Bezos is making a big deal about moving from the Seattle area to near Miami. He doesn’t have to. We know he recently bought those two mansions on that artificial island off the Florida coast, so we wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to spend time there. But that’s not what he’s saying. He’s saying he’s moving from Seattle-ish to Miami-ish. It sounds like he’s turning his back on his mansions in Medina. ...

Am I culturally isolated, or does culture isolate me?

By Dr. Wes Browning | November 3, 2023

A consequence of longtime poverty and homelessness is a certain kind of cultural isolation. You lose track of the wider world and become disengaged from it.

My own worst bout of homelessness happened in 1984. The fact that I can say that with a degree of certainty never ceases to amaze me because during that time I lost track of what year it was. I didn’t know whether it was 1983, 1984 or even 1985. I have no memory of the reelection of Ronald Reagan. ...

The ping-pong table was dominated by one ambidextrous guy; we all hated him

By Dr. Wes Browning | October 25, 2023

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and dealing with it. Big grief, little grief, middle-sized grief. I started thinking about it as I felt an impending case of little grief.

Back when I was studying math in grad school, we had a graduate student lounge with windows on three sides facing east, south and west. The east window looked out over the arts quad and onto the grad student ping-pong table. North were bookshelves and bulletin boards for various interdepartmental communication, with one example being a three-ring binder called “The Math Department Problem Book.” ...

Now we have macro-sweeping; what next?

By Dr. Wes Browning | October 18, 2023

Jeff Bezos now owns a new mansion on an artificial barrier island in South Florida. He paid $79 million for it. He already had a mansion next door. I guess he felt it was too confining.

The last I checked he had three Lake Washington mansions in Medina, including one that was apparently a guest mansion. The article from which I learned about the Florida purchase described some of his other homes but didn’t even mention the Medina hovels. It just mentioned homes in DC, Maui and Beverly Hills, the last of which he paid $169 million for. ...

A barking bone is a healthy bone — some mixed metaphor, that

By Dr. Wes Browning | October 11, 2023

Adventures in Irony

I totally wasn’t expecting Kevin McCarthy to throw together a deal to keep the government going for an extra 45 days. He basically crossed his fingers and swore scout’s honor to the far right of his party that he wouldn't do that, knowing that, if he did, he’d be ousted as Speaker of the House. With him gone, the chance of averting a government shutdown at the end of the 45 days are looking dismal. ...

Math is simple: just ignore everything and do it correctly

By Dr. Wes Browning | October 4, 2023

As I’ve said before, I am addicted to Quora.

It’s not because of the intelligent questions but just the opposite. I’m a fan of what are said to be nonexistent — namely good stupid questions. I find there’s nothing better than a good stupid question to help wake me up out of a stupor.

Here’s a nice recent example: “How can we teach complex mathematical problems effectively to students (including ourselves) without using words or symbols, but just using images or actions related to the problem itself?” ...